Beware innocuous green food substances

I was surprisingly old when I was first introduced to Sushi.

Well, probably not that old, but when you're living in latte and designer finger food laden Auckland, it was unusual for me to be 25 before I'd ever been given the change to indulge in this culinary delight. Mainly because I was frightened of the idea of raw fish. I was too stoopid to realise that teriyaki chicken sushi is NOT raw, and that it would become my obsession du jour not long after my 25th birthday, when I braved the sushi platter while moderately drunk at my ex bosses 40th birthday party.

After spending a couple of years forcing sushi in at the rate of a minke whale trying to stick on the the Japanese, my husband and I moved to the South Island, to ethnic food free Palmerston.

It became a rare treat to have sushi for lunch, necessitating a 100 km round trip to Dunedin to get some. It was after one of these trips that the 3 year old decided he wanted to sabotage my gastric glee, and make a couple of honest attempts at stealing my lunch. Now don't get me wrong, OF COURSE I'd already fed the boy (a Happy Meal... combat against obesity win!)  and anyone who knows me knows I DO NOT share food. Ever. I have a figure to maintain here!

After a couple of thwarted attempts the little shit got cunning, and slunk into his sisters room and woke her up, where she'd been blissfully dozing in a 'YES I'M A BOY!' onesie left over in the nappy bag from when her brother was little. I wandered down the hall way to settle her, blissfully unaware that the sushi thief was formulating a plan. The sound of mini satan's cloven hooves appeared behind me, along with a gleeful cry of
"Haha! My stole your lunch!"
Before fleeing back through the house.

I turned to face him just in time to see him jam something into his smirking face, and huffed at the realisation that the last piece of my coveted sushi was gone.

But hold up.....
That thing he put in his mouth....
It was..... Green.....

Gears turned in my head and a smirk crept across my face as I realised.....

Yeah Camo - that thing you just pinched? it was Wasabi.... ENJOY!

I mentally high fived myself at the idea of teaching him a lesson, just like in 'The Lighthouse Keepers Lunch'. My smirk was short lived though.

He soon returned to the lounge room, eyes streaming, nose streaming, a godless drool hanging out the side of his mouth, his face a luminous red. He sat down and continued to watch the Imagination Movers. Eventually I had to ask 'So was that tasty?'

He didn't even look at me when he answered. : 'Yep. Tastes spicy.'

I couldn't believe it. This is a kid who won't eat Tomato Sauce because the flavour is too hardcore.

Touché little lunch thief, Touché.